Exit to a New Begining

Well folks it seems like I’m still here… Bit touch and go for a while as I have been a bit too much of a recluse lately… Shutting out the world and ignoring reality.

It's strange how the brain is exceptionally good at destroying itself… It lets you wander through all sorts of ways to exit this world while stopping you from simply asking for help. Worthlessness must seem the easy route for a brain cell… Who knows… Still I found out that I am not affected by Yew wood and a few other things along the way. What I do now know is all the people who have, and are going through, the same as me somewhat negates the “I’m the only one, no one else understands/cares” theorem I appeared to have.

So still here but soon to be homeless… No idea of what will really happen in a couple of weeks but it is entirely my own fault and I must accept and deal with it as it unfolds. Maybe It will help to understand things if I post more as my life changes… Maybe it will help me keep on track this time… What’s the worst that can happen… people stop reading my blog and I don’t even notice?.. Well I do get a few hit for my reviews on things but my other posts don’t get many… but then again the total is over 4,000 now and that’s something I never thought would happen.

So readers you may see more posts on how my life unfolds from now… 17 months before I get my pension and, hopefully, my free bus pass and a whole new world of Universal Credit and government bureaucracy to wade through... Such fun I think not...

My findings over the last week have been entertaining and frustrating in equal measure with one wrong, but totally sound, answer means that the care/case worker just ignores you and bumps you way down the list for help. They chuck a food parcel at you quick enough but say anything like “I have a friend who might X” and all real help with being evicted seems to go out the window. Part of why I just hid again back in January… everything seemed to just stop. Speaking of food parcels I do still have a long way to go it seems as my first though when the nice couple dropped off four, stuffed, carrier bags of foods/toiletries etc was that they should go to someone who deserved them more than me.

I you are still reading this then I would say to you “your mad” and “thank you”. Both comments are meant in truth and both comments describe the last week. I have a new found respect for many people in the system who have to work with, and around, said much flawed system and are really trying to help and then there’s the owners of the Park Home I live on not caring a “your words here” as money is there god. It would seem that I am happier being broke but I really need to get the “pay your bills first” bit a bit better.

So thank you for reading this and I must exit stage left followed by bear and think of how to write to friends I have not contacted in far to long.