Exit to a New Begining

Well folks it seems like I’m still here… Bit touch and go for a while as I have been a bit too much of a recluse lately… Shutting out the world and ignoring reality.

It's strange how the brain is exceptionally good at destroying itself… It lets you wander through all sorts of ways to exit this world while stopping you from simply asking for help. Worthlessness must seem the easy route for a brain cell… Who knows… Still I found out that I am not affected by Yew wood and a few other things along the way. What I do now know is all the people who have, and are going through, the same as me somewhat negates the “I’m the only one, no one else understands/cares” theorem I appeared to have.

So still here but soon to be homeless… No idea of what will really happen in a couple of weeks but it is entirely my own fault and I must accept and deal with it as it unfolds. Maybe It will help to understand things if I post more as my life changes… Maybe it will help me keep on track this time… What’s the worst that can happen… people stop reading my blog and I don’t even notice?.. Well I do get a few hit for my reviews on things but my other posts don’t get many… but then again the total is over 4,000 now and that’s something I never thought would happen.

So readers you may see more posts on how my life unfolds from now… 17 months before I get my pension and, hopefully, my free bus pass and a whole new world of Universal Credit and government bureaucracy to wade through... Such fun I think not...

My findings over the last week have been entertaining and frustrating in equal measure with one wrong, but totally sound, answer means that the care/case worker just ignores you and bumps you way down the list for help. They chuck a food parcel at you quick enough but say anything like “I have a friend who might X” and all real help with being evicted seems to go out the window. Part of why I just hid again back in January… everything seemed to just stop. Speaking of food parcels I do still have a long way to go it seems as my first though when the nice couple dropped off four, stuffed, carrier bags of foods/toiletries etc was that they should go to someone who deserved them more than me.

I you are still reading this then I would say to you “your mad” and “thank you”. Both comments are meant in truth and both comments describe the last week. I have a new found respect for many people in the system who have to work with, and around, said much flawed system and are really trying to help and then there’s the owners of the Park Home I live on not caring a “your words here” as money is there god. It would seem that I am happier being broke but I really need to get the “pay your bills first” bit a bit better.

So thank you for reading this and I must exit stage left followed by bear and think of how to write to friends I have not contacted in far to long.

Interesting Day... Or, maybe, just modern life...

Since moving out into the countryside I visit big towns less and less...

But today I needed to go into Ipswich to sort some financials... So I park the Buell near the town centre...

I had only just gotten of the bike when a young, teenage, girl with black and purple hair just shouted out... I'm going to get my bike license...

Now, for whatever reason, people seem to find me... I was "Uncle Paul" as a teenager and, in reality, that has not changed... I am not saying that the weirdos make a bee line for me but... sometimes it feels like it..

Anyhoo.... Teenager talking ten to the dozen with an ever increasing pitch... and at first I wondered why me... But I continued to listen as it felt the right thing to do...

Got the whole "bike - ex boyfriend - life sucks" thing, alone with some intelligent thoughts on being a passenger... And I explained about chicken strips being a simple way of seeing who's bike you want to be on the back off if there's a choice...

But it was time for my usual "ask a question out of context to the theme" tactics to see what was really going on..

"What colour is your front door" I asked... and she just stopped... for about 5 seconds... "What, Green, Why" she said in a now normal level voice...

The answer is immaterial to the question... Its the time it takes to answer and the facial expression that holds the truth... not whether they know the answer or not...

And to be honest I just got a nervous/lonely sort of vibe... nothing drug related or about to cost me money...

So... We end up talking for quite a while and I hope it helped how she felt about herself.. I know full well that if someone calls you worthless they're the idiot buy if you call yourself worthless then you're the idiot...

It was also funny watching the faces of people walking by with that "nothing to do with me" look as the young girls voice did get very shrill at times...

It was notable though how her voice levelled out and her face lit up when talking about the ballroom dancing lesson she had recently had... and how it deepened and her face darken when talking about her problems and social workers...

But the real interesting thing was when three other young girls walked toward us and one shouted out her name... Walking up to us from a corner about 50 meters away they could obviously see we were talking..

All three totally ignored me... they started talking to each other like I did not exist.... RUDE... one even moved so that her back was towards me... If that's what kids do these days then I am sorry for the world...

It decades since I was that young but you acknowledged people... If you see someone you don't know talking to someone you do...you say Hi or OK... something... not just put your back to people...

To old to care so I just walked forward and said "Hi my name is Paul, love the arrogance of your indifference"

To my amazement... utter silence... don't suppose they even understood what I had said... So I turned to the young girl and said "Thank you for the conversation and if you do get the chance to ride a bike off road before going on road, do it... you will, just, learn so much more"

The shortest of the three girls was still standing there with her mouth open as I walked off...

And yes I am aware of how wrong that might have gone in our stupid PC world...

Anyhoo... I walk up town... do me bits and head into Holland and Barrett...

Walk to the till, where there are three ladies sampling various "non alcoholic" wines...

Quite a conversation going on between these three... they're buying multiples of "three for a tenner" and the poor assistant is running about for extra stock...

Two were mid thirties and one elder lady who walked over to me as apologised for making me wait for the only till and then grabbed my arm launching straight into "my new partner, my husband died, was masturbating in bed and wanted the phone..." and she found it funny because by the time it took to find and hand it to him he no longer needed it...

what....WHAT... now that's weird... even for me...

So modern life... glad I'm out of it... Teenagers who are so self involved no one else exists.. and pensioners with boundary issues...

Maybe it's just normal for Ipswich these days...

Least the sun was shining and the roads were dry... Back roads for the way home 😎 ...

Old School Nexus 5

Love my Nexus 5... Good specifications for not a lot of money and three years down the line it still has good battery life and is not covered in scratches... Better build quality than some and does not burst in flames like others...

And for how little I actually use it as a phone... I sure do pick it up often...

Basically, as my friends will know, I tend to tinker with things and the Nexus 5 is no different...

Left it pretty much stock with Lollipop... Just added and removed apps like you do...

Updating to Marshmallow was the start in basic fiddling... Hated the big white strip that was the "Google says Hi" bar you had no choice in having and could not even make it translucent to ease the blob that it was...

So ended up with KKLauncher which , amongst other tweaks, allowed my to hide it... Quite like KKLauncher and I know their are others out there but, for me, it covered all, well most off, the bases and was unobtrusive and did not seem to affect battery life much...

Playing about with rooting and exposed installer ended up with me bricking my Nexus 7 so I was not going to play, to much, with rooting the 5 until I read that it is no longer going to be supported by Google, as they are bringing out the new "Pixel" line of phones...

So... Searched about on the XDA Forums and realise that rooting and ROM options have come a very long way in the last couple of years... You can still brick things but you have far more chance of something happening that is recoverable these days...

Spent a few days reading up on a few options and read threw many a forum page... Really are a helpful bunch on here, for the most, and the main problems seem to be people that don't read the whole thread before posting a question that has already been answered...

Take the ROM I have ended up using, Nitrogen "N"... which is on it's third stable build and fourth beta/test... Back in the second stable build he clearly stated "Do not root With SuperSU as Superuser is now Included in the build"...

But there are people, almost daily, posting...  Flashed your ROM and then rooted with SuperSU and it does not work... Help/Any Ideas/other comments.... Read, or search, the forum before flashing is a good idea but reading/searching the forum before posting is an even better one...

Pleased with my, for now, build of the NitrogenOS N ROM by Mr.Mex - Testing version 20/10/2016 with Pico Gapps... Love it's minimalism style build and having Superuser root built right into it sort of makes it a noobs dream of a one stop solution...

Also loaded up Viper4ARISE Deuteronomy 2.1 for it's superb, and very tweakable, sound...

The 5 only has one, underwhelming, little speaker and most will simply use headphones instead...

But I was blown away by the difference in sound by, simply, turning on the "speaker optimisation" toggle... Instantly so much richer and made Adele's "Hello", nigh on, stunning..

If you want a simple option for better sound then Arise will do that... But as there are a myriad of other options I'm sure everyone will be able to tune the sound to their ears... Save, and easily switch, settings for different genres of music...

It was really easy to download both items from said forums and a quick MD5 check to confirm all is good with the download before flashing to phone...

So - Why the "Old School Nexus 5" title...

The real fun started after everything was loaded and running well...

For being rooted allows you to play.... Having a modified ROM means there is less there to start with... So I downloaded Solid Explorer and had a "root" round...

Been using Boat Browser for a while now so the stock browser gets deleted and others followed...

Near field... Android Pay... Hate the idea so there gone... Google mail... now is no mail... Don't get enough to worry about that checking on my laptop daily can't cover... Maps are gone too... No Facebook app (don't need the separate messenger app if you go via browser) ... Usable battery life has doubled!!! and "ForceDoze" gives me a standby life of... well if I don't use the phone at all... weeks

Did keep the modified SMS messenger that came with the ROM...

QuickPic Gallery (my go to photo app) plays my videos (basic but smooth playback and the voice sync is good) and the Esira music player that comes with Viper4ARISE means my media needs are covered...

So my Nexus 5 is more an old school phone with no "must tell the world what my dinner looks like being eaten by a kitten/bunny" apps... (and, hopefully, not tell the world everything I do) but... with a touch screen and great sound...

Still working on a good camera/video recorder as they seem to work/not work with each update... but it is a common problem with Hammerhead/Nougat ROM's on the Nexus 5... So a couple of more "test" updates and that should be sorted... Open Camera, for a simple option, is the best I have found to date But the CameraFV range, and similar, do turn a humble phone into a bit of a half decent SLR...

Quite happy with that... you don't need a hundred different ways to talk to people while not talking to them... or kill yourself stepping off a pavement trying to capture an imaginary creature...

But all praise to the good side of more interaction as we need more people planting trees and yarn Bombing in this self destructive world for in the many ways the phone isolates people it also brings like minded communities together and good things happen... As a side note has the majority of our so called ruling elite been taking stupid pills lately???

Phones are great and they will probable evolve into something that, really, is your life... They will definitely evolve further into recording every second of it so others can profit... But remember...Fine by phone can only expand...

24/10/16

Well I am now running 7.1 Nougat... Amazed how quick developers have gotten this out... Who needs to spend ££££ on a pixel phone...

And to be honest the whole "must have round icons" thing strikes me of the old Hi-Fi days... all silver until someone brought out a black unit... and then only black until someone brought out a silver unit... and so on... and on... and I often wonder how much the cry of "red is the new black" has cost the ladies/"insert your PC appropriate term here"  over the years

So it's now on test build 24/10/16 (Nitrogen_Hammerhead-7.1 NDE63P) with Arise Deuteronomy 2.1.5 and Pico Open Gapps (But I like the idea of the new Gapps with Android TV!)

Heathrow... Third Runway... Never gonna hap... Ahh... It is...

Well just heard on the news about the, initial, go ahead for the third Heathrow runway...

There has been no doubt in my mind that a third runway would be built... They have consistently lied to the local people, and will continue to do so...

Maybe the next one will be at Gatwick... in the interest of public concern you understand...

Terminal five... local promise... we will built the terminal but never a third runway... even the three wise monkeys have gone home in disgust on this one...

One problem, though, is that no one wants anything built on their doorstep...

Take the area around the old Bentwaters airbase... Everyone and their relative did not want an airport there... But I wonder how many of those same people travel to another airport for their holidays with barely a "poor locals" thought...

Bentwates had a very long runway as it was a, not so secret, emergency landing strip for the space shuttle... So why did the end of the runway get dug up?... Do a web search on this for the given reason then do another search on what was happening at the time... and make your own mind up...

Many many years ago there was a plan to build an access road from the A12 to Bentwaters with the aim of reducing the traffic through the local villages... The plans showed, pretty much, a straight line between the two...

But as the A12 (North of Ipswich... don't get me started on the A12 south "car park") is such a lovely wide and fast "no queue's" road... Sorry had a moment of rose coloured glasses there... But as the A12 is such a narrow winding "lets spend £1 on it when it needs £1,000,000" traffic jam that effectively shuts whenever there is an accident...

Be nice if that now Norwich is building a northern bypass that Ipswich are shamed into building one too...

So the powers to be want to keep anything money making near to its greedy heart and give more evidence to my take on devolution, that is....

As well as selling off the country the government wants to make itself immune to criticism by giving some of the governments powers to local areas so it can say... "not my fault - your local should have done X"... and walk away saying "suckers"...

Maybe the reason that Suffolk (OK ok... and Norfolk) is left out is that a lot of millionaires live here, for the quiet life...

Still watching the program and just heard someone say...  "Site preferred as secures the benefits for whole of the UK"  How the hell does having an extra runway in London secure, real, benefits for the whole of the UK... 

Oh I get it... All the petrol to drive there... all the coach fares... train fares... pittance for the local area but massive profits for London, well greedy shareholders and massive non tax paying companies...

Shhhh... no one mention pollution, air or otherwise... It will be less in the future.... When the fuel runs out... Makes you wonder if there will ever be an electric jumbo, flying through a lightning storm to recharge?...

And then comes the comment of...

"More cost effective to build here as the infrastructure is already there"... But... But... But... Terminal five was "only" built on the promise that runway three would NOT be...

Nothing more to say really... is there?...

Well there was the comment of "Better connectivity to the whole of the country".... No.... Only more congestion... for which you will probable roll out charges for...

Me feels another Hinckley point coming on... lets pick the worst choice... and make a plan B... just like Brexit...

Coming Home

I have to thank my friend Thijs for finding this camp site in France that....

well...

Inspired this...

Coming home is a  wonderful feeling...
Coming home causes life to have meaning...
But, sometimes, the place you called home...
Is challenged by what you find when you roam...

To know your home by the familiar...
Is to live life by being similar...
For to walk into a place, you have not seen before...
And be totally at home, you truly need nothing more...

To see an old ladder, lovingly laid on a tree
Nearby are old pots and cans... not out of place, just where they should be...
Rustic and ruin, but perfectly sound...
Friends become family, when your true home is found...

I sit and listen to the music in their voice
Listen to family, not simply friends, who are there by choice...
They travel many miles to be here each year...
This family of friends, no matter how far away, are always near...

Miles from the madness, in its own time and space...
Cats roam freely in this wonderful place...
They tumble and play, for life they have no worry...
Much to be done.. but there is never a hurry...

For me, from the start, this place touched my heart...
I have lived many decades and thought I knew my part...
But the people and this place, are now simply "home"...
I now have a true place to come back to whenever I roam...

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We travel to find the real but when we come in the many, the real becomes lost...
To go to a place with empty beaches and then return to row upon row of hotels somewhat negates the point of going there...

So a place very relevant to now, but somehow lost in the past is a beautiful find.
To find a place that still runs on trust, not profit, makes you question modern life .
So no name will you find here, but, hopefully, many will  find it all the same.

I wish my time was not running out faster than I would like
So to one and all... Goodnight, I'm off to ride my bike...

What is going on with this small little world of ours…

Just another collection of thoughts...

One half, wants/wants to sell you, something new every five minutes and the other half wants to kill you if you don’t blindly follow some maniac or other…

The British can’t make their mind up on anything...

 The Germans, effectively, wanted a fourth Reich...

The Chinese wants domination of “it’s” world and cares not what people think...

The Russians… Enjoy both the freedom of living under a likeable Lenin and watching all the dash cam carnage online...

The Saudi elite covet western items while condemning western values for its populous…

North Korea keeps poking the US with it’s little nuclear stick…

The Americans are voting for a new “leader” between a very skilful, and rich by some very dubious means, "non truth" teller and a man who may well be the living incarnation of Zapp Brannigan but, strangely enough, may actually do something other than line his own pockets.

America… Massive country… Massive Ego… Massive prison service. Not so much “three strikes and your out” as “three strikes and you have a job for life”

Did you know as of March 23 2016:-
The American prison system is massive. So massive that its estimated turnover of $74 billion eclipses the GDP of 133 nations. What is perhaps most unsettling about this fun fact is that it is the American taxpayer who foots the bill and is increasingly padding the pockets of publicly traded corporations like Corrections Corporation of America and GEO Group. (smartasset.com/Thierry Godard)

The Bank of Mum and Dad… A whole generation of people today who have to borrow money from the very people who forced the house prices up in the first place.

Shareholders... The people who control a company they have no other interest in other than how much money they can take... If you had none would your products be cheaper???

Greed… Something nearly everybody has… To some it’s their God... People want to sell something for thousands that costs ten pounds to make... But to most it’s something perfectly normal, without any conscious thought of it’s effect… “I want this more than you” is the mantra of many a price rise…

Consultants… The people you pay lots of money to to get an answer, sometimes, that you might have got for free by asking your staff..

Austerity… “difficult economic conditions created by government measures to reduce public expenditure”…

What a strange thing to do in a consumer driven economy… everybody and its offspring wants to sell you stuff whether you need it or not and the government wants you to pay the tax but not buy the item… Go figure...

NHS becomes the NFHS… leave you to work that one out…

Private police/fire/ambulance services will be the norm soon but surely there can be no conflict of interests with business panels replacing councils

2106 Rio… my favourite quote… “Cyber Crooks Expected to Take Gold at Brazil Olympics”

Mind you… Bet the populous were more nervous upon hearing that the “tour” bus would not make it across the border…

I Wonder What You Will Be Someday

Entry into this world is, for most, painful…

To be squeezed and ejected, from water to air…

From warmth and protection, to cold and vulnerable…

From the gentle beat of a heart to the symphonies of existence...

To be aware of life, rather than wrapped in a thought…

To see more than the womb that was your world…

To see, through a blur, your new life unfold…

Your journey just beginning, but to what will it lead…

You grow and crawl, then learn to walk…

You learn to talk and fall over too…

You crate such memories for those who see…

You can understand a smile, but not a scowl…

But I oft wonder on the way to guide…

You need to know your boundaries, at least for a little while...

You need to know what’s hot or not, to keep your limbs intact…

You need to know a right from wrong, but who’s is the question…

I applaud those who teach with a premise of control present…

I condemn those who teach with control active...

I praise those who teach with realisation of ability…

I repulse those who teach a closed mind…

School approaches all to soon…

And you leave your second womb…

People jostle all about, some you know, some I doubt…

First day, first play, first to say “Hi”

You learn and learn the skills of life…

As life teaches you skills of it’s own…

You see the bad, You the good…

How will you choose what’s understood…

Family should teach you a way that’s safe…

But, sadly, this is not always the case…

Some are open and teach many views…

Some are closed and you cannot choose…

This time of growing should be free from care…

This time of learning should show what’s out there…

You should not be taught to fear…

You should never be taught to hate…

School is over all to soon…

Hormones kick in and you sleep till noon…

You find your partner, if lucky, your mate…

sometimes you know from the first date…

You expand your world through travel…

And learn new views on life…

You dance and laugh with someone..

And that someone is now your wife…

Jobs have come and gone…

One gels and life gently slows…

Time now for memories new…

But most of all, your time to teach...

Another life comes into this world…

You watch it being born…

Amazed in every single way

You look at your own baby and say…

“I wonder what you will be someday”